i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
