Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
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