Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
