I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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