hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize