So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
