Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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