Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize
