I wannas sexs uuuuu
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We have so much sex to catch up on
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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