dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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