Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
