im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
