I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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