i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it's like iHOP with fire
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
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I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
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You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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