He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
