So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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