Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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