i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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