i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
