Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize