Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
