Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
