she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
