He passed out mid-signature
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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