Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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