i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
