i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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