Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
