you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
