dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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