Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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