Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
im on a boat
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