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Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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