Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
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YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
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bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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