and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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