You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
