So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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