just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
