even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
