I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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