Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
