i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Randomize
