apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
