Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
