Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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