then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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