A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
People in love make me want to vomit
I look better un-naked...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
