Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
