So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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