all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
